Dating in Provo

Scenario number one:

This last summer this guy in the ward calls me up. He is maybe the messiest human being I know. His small apartment was always full of... stuff! And food! That smelled because it was old! And trash! And on this phone call he asks what I'm doing. "Nothing," I say. "What are you doing?" He got married that morning. He wants me to come to his reception and tell everyone else to come too. "You're kidding me. I do not believe you." Oh yes, he did indeed get married. "Well what time does the reception start?" In an hour.

So I gather up a few friends and we head over to a cultural hall about twenty minutes away. It looks like one table of his family is there and the rest of the guests are related to her. No friends anywhere. No decorations. There are tablecloths, and an appetizer buffet table. It is awkward. About a half hour into it, our bishop shows up with his wife. I took pictures to memorialize it because I know no one will believe us, just as I didn't believe the news when I heard it from the groom.

In asking around about this relationships that blossomed out of thin air, I learn that it was never explicitly and openly celebrated. Only hinted at. And she had never seen his apartment.

I finally put the pictures up on Facebook about three weeks ago. A couple of nights ago I ran into the groom on campus.

They're divorced.


Scenario number two:

My dear roommate has more than once had to politely reject the advances of our duplex neighbor. When we all returned home from Christmas vacation, we noticed that exactly half of the duplex's sidewalk was shoveled. And I do mean exactly half. To the inch. The half that the guys live in.

Guess which neighbor boy stayed in Provo through Christmas?